Twas the night before Christmas

Ann all through the house, just one creature was stirring, me and my mouse

The sentry guns were arrayed in the basement with care

In hopes that enemy scouts  soon would be there;

The demomen were nestled all snug in their beds,

While visions of explosions danced in their heads

And a medic and me as a heavy

Had just started out across the levy

When out on the bridge there arose such a clatter,

We leapt to the turrets to see what was the matter

Away to the window I rose like the sun

Tore open the shutters and spun up the mini-gun

The moon on the breast of blood soaked battlefield

Showed me exactly what was the deal

When, what to my wondering eyes should appear

But a scout and eight dudes in full gear

The scout was nimble and quick

I knew in a minute it was John (that dick)

More rapid than eagles his coursers they came

As he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name

"Now Heavy, Now medic, now Soldier, and demoman"

On Engineer,on sniper, on Pyro, On Spy"

To the basement, to the top of the wall

No Frag away, frag away, frag away all

As dry leaves that before the wind hurricane fly,

When they met with an obstacle, mount to the sky

So up to the fort, the corsers they flew,

With a boomstick full of fury, John did too

And then in a twinkling, I heard on the rampart

The prancing and pawing of each enemy

As I drew my gun and was turning around

Down the stairs John went with a bound

He was dressed all in red, from his head to his foot

His clothes were tarnished with blood and soot

A small bat was strung across his back

A cheap way to kill you, he's such a brat

He looked like a blur, just starting to run

He was hard to track with the end of my gun

He had a broad face despite a small had

That shook when the sentry guns filled him with lead

He spoke not a work, but went straight back to work

He tried to get my plans again, the little jerk

Time after time he came and he died

This was getting bored I decried

Finally the match was ended, John was defeated

No defense will do that and he barely competed

But I heard him exclaim, ere he logged off the server

"See you tomorrow night, you lame ass haxxor"