War?  War is everywhere.

All this talk about Wrath of the Lich King made me pine for some good ol' massively-multiplayer online action.  So I picked up Warhammer Online.  I ain't got time to level to 70 in World of Warcraft in order to enjoy the new expansion, and I'm digging my fingernails into my skin -- itching for something fresh.  And all I can manage to disclose from my first infantile steps into the world WAR is that -- wow -- this bad boy is deep.

I went into the character creation screen blindfolded.  I haven't read a novel, haven't watched a trailer, and haven't rolled a single die in the name of Games Workshop's tabletop-to-online role-playing game.  But the introductory video had me at "Hello! Who's that crazy Johnny Blaze dude breathing fire on everyone?!"  So it was love (and immolation) at first sight.  They're called Bright Wizards, eh?  I like the play on words, because I bet they're really smart, too.

I prepare to step for the first time into the Age of Reckoning.  I reckon that I've already got the torches, so I name him "Pitchfork" and get ready to riot.  And even though Pitchfork the Incredibly Smart and Bright Wizard is on the side of Order (vs. Chaos), I bet there's some disorderly conduct I can throw at an enemy that's just dying for some crispy critter time. 

Now everything looks all jim dandy from a high-fantasy perspective, but I hear explosions slamming into the hillsides the second I appear in the gameworld.  The Chaos warhost has arrived pretty much just now and the small hamlet I spawned into is getting pummelled with zipping cannonfire.  I'm pretty sure I can hear the debris raining down where I stand as well.

So while I'm much more naturally an explorer and one who takes their time jaunting through the countryside at a leisurely Hobbit's pace, I'm suddenly feeling like, y'know, I might be in the middle of a serious conflict here.  The starting missions aren't neccessarily any more complex in nature than any other MMO, but they feel unmistakably relevant to the war effort.  I'm saving people from burning cottages.  I'm rallying farmers that have long since turned their swords into plowshares.  I'm stiffening the weak spines of militia members that are suddenly taking on tougher baddies than the town drunk.

I've shown up on a front line that doesn't even fully realize the breadth and depth of the enemy forces on its doorstep.  My actions feel like they are making a difference in the war effort; and making a difference is typically a farce that MMO players are used to swallowing.  But I'll be darned if WAR didn't take the battlefield mentality of Tabula Rasa and make it even more integral to the gameplay from the get-go.  No time to admire that vista of the windmill, or the lakeside, or the pine-scented trees, laddy.  Because war?  Apparently it's everywhere.

 

[Sean Nack's a good guy.  He doesn't mean to show me up as much as he does.  But when I came out with "Alternative Theme Songs For Winter Games" (two of which was eaten by internet ether) he devised a Top 5 list of his own.  Here it is. - Randy]

There are a lot of lists. Especially in our community, everyone has their "Top 5" lists, or their "Best Ever" lists. All that's well and good, but how many times can you read "Top 5 Hottest Characters" or "Most Influential", or the ever popular "Coolest"?

I have nothing against lists in general, but what about we try a list that might actually help you out a little bit? How about a list that might change your perspectives, alter your perceptions, and maybe, just maybe, help you get in the proper frame-of-mind for a few of the most anticipated games of the year? Prepare yourself for the next contender for the "Best Lists List": the Top 5 Books to Get You In The Mood…wait for it…For New Games.

Yes, you read that correctly. I said books. I'm an old-fashioned guy, ladies and gentlemen, and I firmly believe in the power of the written word to transform a person, and even to prepare you for the types of situations you'll encounter in the next few months. So grab a book (they're square-ish, made largely of paper, you may be familiar), curl up on the couch (honestly, what else do you have to do this month?) and get your literature on:

1. Game: Far Cry 2

    Book: The Heart of Darkness, Joseph Conrad

With as much remorseless violence as you've no doubt dealt out throughout your  videogame career, you surely consider yourself a hardened killer, completely prepared for whatever the African savannah has to dish out. My friends, I  encourage you to e-shoot and e-burn and e-bomb to your heart's content, but  know this: in the real world, violence not only has physical consequences, it  corrodes the soul. In Joseph Conrad's classic tale, based on his actual adventures  in the then-Belgian Congo, the author demonstrates the incredible toll that  violence and the degradation of humanity takes on a man, when his boat is  assigned to head hundreds of miles up-river to retrieve a company rubber  collector who has gone completely insane and set himself up as a god-king in the  African jungle. When  the man is finally overcome by his illnesses, both mental  and physical, his final words are a reflection of his actions, and his own  heart:  all he can see is "the horror…the horror." You may also recognize this plot,  modified quite a bit, in the classic film "Apocalypse Now." After you read this  book, you may find yourself questioning your own actions in the game: how far  into your own heart of darkness are you willing to go?

2. Game: Spore

    Book: Origin of Species, Charles Darwin.

While obviously not as inspired as the previous selection, and certainly tougher to  read, where better to get a strategy for creating and leading your own organism to success than from the man who is most closely associated with evolution? This  book may have ushered in some morally-questionable science, such as that old misconception about "nature, red in tooth and claw", but if reading about  Galapagos finches gives you that one great idea for your creature that makes you  the dominant force in the universe…like I've always said, as of about right now,  there's no place for a great fictional idea than the real world. 

3. Game: Fable 2

    Book: The Black Cauldron, Lloyd Alexander

Thought you saw LOTR coming, didn't you? This one is a personal choice for me,  because, well, I'll put it this way: I hate sword and sorcerer crap. I'm way more interested in the sci-fi end of the business, for one thing, but for another, I read  this book when I was about seven years old, and nothing ever stacked up against  it. What I should say is that this is actually the second of a five part series, and  that the Cauldron creates armies of the undead, blah-blah, but what caused me to  pair the two is the series inimitable hero: Taran, Assistant Pig-Keeper. Much like  your faceless, nameless hero, he was nothing until adventure came along and  claimed him. The tenor of the series is also much different from LOTR, as it takes  itself far, far less seriously, though is still inspired by Welsh mythology, and it's  this mix of the grand and the humorous that makes it a perfect lead-in to Fable 2.

4. Game: Left 4 Dead

    Book: Zombie Survival Guide, Max Brooks.

Ok, so this one is pretty much a gimme. Max Brooks' equally fantastic World War Z is also a valid choice, but the survival guide makes you think  strategically, question the efficacy of your surroundings, and most importantly in  a zombie apocalypse scenario, act defensively. As a person who is actively and  seriously preparing for the zombie apocalypse, the defensive considerations  are paramount in the initial stages, and while you can't change Valve's plan or  weapon load-outs, you can learn to manage your surroundings to your  advantage. Attacked in a two story house? Run up the stairs, create a choke-point,  and plink away. Learn which weapons are most effective in what environments,  and most importantly, take away from your time spent in the imaginary  apocalypse some lessons for the real world.

5. Game: Fallout 3

    Book: Lord of the Flies, William Golding.

I know what you're thinking: where're the nukes, the zombies, the irradiated  monstrosities? Where's my apocalypse? All those things are important to the  scenario, but the theme is paramount, and Lord of the Flies is thematically about  as apocalyptic as anything ever written. William Golding's tale of British  schoolboys trapped on a desert island illustrates perfectly how that most delicate  construction of man, society, fails in the face of our greatest enemy: man. What  keeps us from killing and eating each other, what element is removed when you  have such infamous incidents as Rwanda, the Holocaust, or My Lai? Society's  restrictions on killing. Society and the fickle goodwill of your neighbors are the  only things that keep us recognizably human. What better definition of apocalypse  is there, on a small scale like Lord or a large scale like a post-nuclear wasteland,  than mankind's' loss of humanity?

If I asked you to recall that one Gears of War trailer whereMarcus Phenix runs down a narrow street and shoots at an alien withspidery eyes, you might not have any idea of what I'm talking about. But if I asked you to recall that one trailer with the Donnie Darko version of "Mad World" playing, then I bet you'd know.

If I asked you to remember that one Assassin's Creedvideo where Altair is flicking out his wrist dagger and leaping acrosssome rooftops in slow motion ... that could be anybody's guess.  But ifI asked you to remember that one video scored by UNKLE's "God Knows Your Lonely Souls," then I bet you'd know that one too.

Akiller soundtrack can go a long ways -- longer than its typical 3minutes and 30 seconds during some fleeting cinematic presentation. Here's five games coming out in the next several weeks that couldbenefit from having a memorable song scoring a GameTrailers video. These recommendations are probably only half as apt as Assassin's Creed's, and nowhere even close to as brilliant as Gears of War's.  Nevertheless:

 

Spore -- "Into the Ocean" from Foiled, by Blue October

Samplelyrics:  "With envy for the solid ground // I'm reaching for the lifewithin me // How can one man stop his ending // I thought of just yourface // Relaxed, and floated into space."

Starting off withpresumably a lightning flash in a mud puddle, your little spore will"flOw" its way up the food chain, eating and evading its way throughthe evolutionary cycle.  Blue October's "Into The Ocean" draws onimagery reaching from the ocean depths to outer space, carrying yourspore from one cradle of life to the next.

 

 

 

Fallout 3 -- "Consoler Of The Lonely" from Consolers Of The Lonely, by The Raconteurs

Samplelyrics:  "Haven't seen the sun in weeks // My skin is getting pale //Haven't got a mind left to speak // And I'm skinny as a rail // Lightbulbs are getting dim // My interests are starting to wane // I'm toldit's everything a man could want // And  I shouldn't complain."

Withmankind bombed back into the Stone Age -- or at least the 1950s -- yourcharacter will emerge from Valut 101 into a Wild West stage setting. The Raconteurs' "Consolers Of The Lonely" has an eagle-eye fortumbleweed details, sung from a bone-dry throat choked withclaustrophobia.

 Left 4 Dead -- "Believe [Moon Version]" from The Sun And The Moon Complete, by The Bravery

Samplelyrics:  "The faces all around me they don't smile they just crack //Waiting for our ship to come but our ship's not coming back // ...Something's always coming you can hear it in the ground // It swellsinto the air with the rising, rising sound // And never comes butshakes the boards and rattles all the doors // What are we waiting for?"

"Believe"engages minor tonalities that stretch heavy-hearted shadows across theground, while the vampiric organ pulls undead clouds across a groaningsky.  And the Bravery's metaphorical tie-ins with the sedentary and thezombified can't be ignored.  Left 4 Dead looks mighty grim, alone inthe dark.

 

[EDIT:  Urk.  Due to technical difficulties, the Far Cry 2 entry has been chewed up and spit out into the internet ether.  I dunno either.] 

Gen Con was full of both collectable card games and electronic offerings, and a few games that bridged that gap.  Chaotic is one of the latest titles to make the leap between tabletop and online play, this time targeted at the 6-to-14-year-old audience.  

As a card game, Chaotic is pretty solid.  It’s not terribly deep, but there seems to be plenty of room for creative deck building.  Those familiar with CCGs in general will have no problem dropping right in, since Chaotic features the usual menagerie of monsters and magic (or “mugic”, in this case).  Players set up their creatures to batter their opponents, trying to break through the enemy armies with tactics and various special cards.  Creatures have elemental alliances and a simple set of stats.  One thing that sets Chaotic apart from most games I’ve seen is the fact that few creatures, even of the same name, have the exact same stats.  So even if I and my opponent have the exact same deck build, card for card we may have enough differences to keep things interesting.  

Where Chaotic leaps to the electronic front is through a code on the bottom of each card.  This card can be entered into the online portion of the game to generate an exact virtual copy of the card for use against online foes.  So players can have mirror copies of both cardboard and virtual decks, allowing them to play with friends next door or opponents across the globe.  The online portion is a straightforward virtual game table, with the requisite chat rooms, ranking system, and match-finding areas.  The interface looked clean, and it was quite simple to call out a challenge and dive into a quick match.  They’re still working on spiffing up portions of the game, as they had just implemented some new graphics and sound effects to heighten the game a bit.  All in all, it looks like a neat little CCG. 

In addition, Chaotic also sports a weekend animated TV show to entertain and educate the kiddies about the new cards and some possible strategies.  I haven’t had a chance to check out the show itself, so I don’t know if there’s any quality there or if it’s just a half-hour infomercial in disguise.  Regardless, Chaotic looks to be an interesting CCG for the younger set, who probably already know much more about this title than I ever will.  

For more details, head over to www.chaoticgame.com

October is going to be difficult for me.  Three games (all, strangely, beginning with the letter "F") are conspiring to turn my head into a Scanners reference.  Fable 2 is out October 21st.  So is Far Cry 2.  And Fallout 3 is out seven days later.  Bollocks!  And money isn't the problem.  Unless you consider the fact that time is money.  Then yeah, money is a big freaking problem.

What a problem to have, I know.  Too many good games on the calendar in the next few months.  Not like this year's that far removed from any other, so I'm trying not to complain too loudly.  2007 was The Best Year Ever^TM in the eyes of so many critics.  And while everyone seems burnt on the whole discussion -- not even wanting to touch the argument whether 2008 is even better (it is) -- I know that I can at least get a solid month out of Spore before my Triple-F game series grabs me by the wrists and, like your brother used to do to you, start slapping you around with your own hands.  ("Why you hittin' yourself, Randy?  Why you hittin' yourself?")

But after messing around with the Spore Creature Creator all afternoon in preparation for Spore's September 7th launch, I think I've come up with the race that's going to populate my seas, savannahs, cities, and outer spaces.  And, with a little luck, somebody else's too, if they like and download the design.  Meet the Minohorse:

Nope, he has no legs.  Since the Creature Creator can animate the Minohorse's movements like a snake, he can amble about just fine though, thank you very much.  And the ram horns are certifiably cool in my personal estimation, while lending a tentacle-fetishized-looking branch to his ancestry.  I had more decorative plates running up his chest and over his shoulders trying to simulate Byzantine armor, but I removed them since that ended up looking like he was wearing a blocky, rectangular bra.  Relegating that plated look to his stomach, waist, and wrists proved sufficient.  I painted him with the shiny, scaley, purply skin in order to hint at a sea-going gene somewhere in the mix, and because purple was a leftover sentiment from wanting to give him a vaguely Roman feel of royalty.  I also stuck him with oversized hands, a too-large head, and not-so-scary eyes so that other Spore players hopefully won't find the Minohorse so intimidating that they won't invite him into their world.  He's herbivorous, by the way, so you'll only know him by the trail of munched fruits and veggies.

I have no singular, curatorial narrative to tie this player journal together.  I’ve just been enjoying a steady immigration of memorable moments within The Lord of the Rings Online, some of them loud, some of them soft, all of them keeping me away from the keyboard during this 14-day trial period of Middle-earth baptism.  I’m no power-leveler, sir.  My absorbency levels are high but my movements are deliberate, and I’ve kept my character, Lore-master Sayer of Gondor, moving at a walking pace (literally) through the valley of Archet.

These are a few cemented experiences in my mind, and I’m drawing these off the top of my head; no fact-checking, no reworking my way through them in-game, and with frighteningly little knowledge of Tolkein’s world beyond The Hobbit and a few movies filmed in New Zealand.  (So if I get some details wrong, I apologize now.)  And while these experiences may not be profound, per se, they’ve stirred me to recall what I loved so much about MMOs in the first place, especially after I’ve chewed up and spat out so many betas and free trials and full retail purchases along this jaded brick road.

- I recall standing at the top of Bronwe’s Folly after rigorous flights of stairs bringing it to the treetop heights.  The climb was obviously created as a purposeful reminder of the process to get closer to a holy creator.  But at the top of Bronwe’s Folly, I felt nothing but a sense of claustrophobia from the tightening pillars, no sense of security from its crumbling ledge, and no explanation for its seven-pointed stars.  I left, feeling no need to return.

- I recall the planked, uncovered bridge leading up to the hunter’s lodge on the east side of the lake.  The presence of more dead animals than they could skin brought small whirlwinds of flies to circle above the carcasses.

- I recall taking a back entryway into Blackwold’s Roost, another set of Herculean ruins which further betrayed a greater importance the valley of Archet must have once held for a bygone people.  I remember losing all morale in there, twice, fighting off increasing numbers of brigands, knowing that the right solution was to form a fellowship with other players, and never attempting to do so.

- I recall burying the shepherd after the assault on Archet; putting his bloodied body into the ground, as his equally bloodied flock lie strewn and dead about his brown and green hillock.

- I recall walking, walking, walking the roads, fending off aggressive wolves, boars, and spiders, until I grew in strength and knowledge until even those wild woodland creatures learned my scent and kept away.

- I recall another player, who’d named his character after a Star Wars theme, running in circles around me, never taunting me, but exasperating his boredom by killing off creatures that I first engaged in combat.  Yet we never exchanged any words.

  - I recall two other players who never spoke to me, but walked alongside me from the town of Combe, up and across to the spider-rank fields of a working farm.  One held a banner.  The other continuously jaunted one or two steps ahead of me to make him look like a default leader.  They too never spoke to me, despite my questions, as we walked the roads.

- And I recall seeing the town of Archet, burned down to the foundation in some areas, still trudging with life as vendors, trainers, watchmen, and citizens continued their daily toils.  Some maintained hope while others gave in to exhaustion and bewilderment, but I let Archet go.  I was only a refugee myself, and I allowed that town to slip my grasp.  Seeing it blackened with charcoal affirmed a need to move on, when normally I would have created a family tie with the town.

So this is where my gaming heart now lies.  I’ll admit that my commitment-phobic tendencies with MMOs may very well kick in at any moment.  It usually happens somewhere around the 21-day mark, as the overly-practical side of me realizes that I have to end things now, or pay the subscription fee.  But this could be different.  And for everyone it’s different.  But this one could be the one for me.

[Having been away since beta, Randy is playing through a 14-day free trial of The Lord of the Rings Online.  He tends to be impressed by the little things.]

 

 

Who knew that The Lord of the Rings Online propagated Barack Obama’s campaign of Hope?

Because it would be in a dismal Blackwold Camp in LOTRO that Sayer of Gondor would encounter a creature that would force him to utterly abandon all hope.  And it would be the first time that I would witness Hope and Dread serving as prominent gameplay mechanics in an MMO. 

Sure, by the numbers, diminishing or bolstering Hope and Dread is nothing more than “crowd control.”  It’s “buffing” and “debuffing” with a high-concept metaphor driving it.  The winter-crackled trees, man-sized cages, and various torture devices scattered around Blackwold Camp could conjure enough Dread on their own without the added benefit of having one of the Nazgul -- a Black Rider -- showing up in the prison camp’s courtyard.  Sayer, my freshly-minted Lore-master, whose greatest feat of “spellcasting” involved lighting pinecones on fire and hurling them Nolan Ryan-style at onrushing attackers, was tousled into this mess through a fit of misfortune.

Nevertheless, I’m not a whiner about what got me in here, since a hooded Ranger by the name of Amdir is breaking me out.  Tonight.  Now.  But not before he tasks me with freeing two other prisoners also in the camp:  Both are Hobbits, and one of them has the further misfortune (in this case) of having “Baggins” in his last name.  And that’s what drew the Black Rider to the Blackwold Camp.  He was promised a Baggins.

Before Sayer even saw the Black Rider, he felt its presence.  The lidless Eye of Sauron flashed almost-subliminally across the screen.  A pulse.  An uncertainty.  And then he rounded the corner and saw the Nazgul, mounted and fearsome, preparing to strike down Amdir, the Ranger that had sprung my escape.

The edges of Sayer’s vision were scraped with the fiery iris of Mordor.  The screen pulsed again, vision blurred, and the colors around Sayer began to drain into muddy, monochromatic grays.  It was looking like Lord of the Gears of War.  My mini-map in the upper right-hand corner was now completely replaced by the burning eyeball.  My Hope/Dread Indicator readings were dropping fast.  My Dread was pumped up to level eight, which I’m guessing is somewhere around DEFCON 1 as far as emergency alarms going off are concerned.  The indicator also read “Terror has seized you.  The fear of defeat seizes your heart often, causing you to cower.”  To further drive the point home, a thumbnail icon was flashing under my health bar indicating “Dread -- Your heart is heavy in the face of such evil.”

And indeed my hero, Lore-master Sayer of Gondor, was no paragon of heroism at that point.  He was ducking to the side, crumpled, holding his hands over his face, wanting nothing more than to run.

So I made him run.

Back the way he came and towards the far, roundabout side of the Blackwold Camp.  The Nazgul maybe 100 yards back now, out of sight, but not yet out of mind.  Still, Sayer’s maximum morale slowly raised from the 80% cap that Dread placed on him.  His ‘effective heals,’ which had been reduced to 84% (a bad thing), crept back towards 100%.  And the increased ‘damage received’ percentage (another bad thing) came back down from their elevated 112% levels.  It was like Sayer’s systolic and diastolic blood pressure was crawling back to within acceptable measurements.

And then, eventually, Hope and Dread had found their zen-sand-garden balance once more.

Conversely to the above scenario, being around benevolent NPCs, like Gandalf the Grey, will make Hope rise, diminishing Dread.  So when an NPC like Barack Obama comes around touting the “Yes we can!” of his hope campaign, I have to ask from a completely neutral standpoint:  Is he borrowing gameplay mechanics from developer Turbine’s Lord of the Rings Online? 

 [Having been away since beta, Randy is playing through a 14-day free trial of The Lord of the Rings Online.  Barack Obama did not approve this uninspired message of hope.]

 

I managed to check out several titles geared for the younger crowd this year, starting with Freaky Creatures, an action-figure/video game hybrid targeting an audience of 6-14 years of age.

Back in my day, we had to imagine our toys into battle, supplying sound effects and cool visuals with nothing but our minds. Freaky Creatures is looking to change that, allowing kids to take their action figures online, kit them out with some individual powers and features, and then duke it out with opponents across the globe.

What kids will get initially is a pack of two action figure monsters, which are by themselves some pretty cool toys. However, also included in the starter pack is a flash drive containing the electronic game portion of the product. With this, kids get an online avatar of their action figure. Once they’ve uploaded themselves, players can customize their monsters with a nice selection of weapons, special attacks, and powers. They can also set up each monster’s lair, which really doesn’t have much in-game function, but it allows the kids some nice ways to individualize the monsters.

The meat of Freaky Creatures, of course, is the battle. Players can take their customized monsters and challenge other players’ monsters in a one-on-one battle. There’s not really a lot of depth to the fight, it’s just matter of choosing a target body part with which to attack, while the opponent does the same. A sort of “rock-paper-scissors” mechanic is in play, so one player’s head attack might beat the opponent’s tail swipe, but might be crushed by that left hook. After each player chooses an attack, the monsters enter a round of combat complete with some nifty visuals, and damage is dealt. After a monster’s health is depleted, it goes to sleep (no death here), and a winner is declared.

As monsters do battle, they gain experience with which they open up new abilities and weapons to further customize themselves. Again, there’s not a terribly deep system in place, but I could see myself having some fun with it back in the halcyon days of my youth.

Because Freaky Creatures specifically targets the younger crowd, there will be careful monitoring of all chat-rooms, battles, and other online activities to keep things safe for the monsterific mayhem.

Freaky Creatures should be rolling out in a month or so, with a 2-monster starter pack launching the system. Following this are some single-monster boosters, adding more monsters (and greater variety) to the mix. It could be cool fun for the young ones, but we’ll have to see if the simplistic fighting mechanic and online world can draw interest away from the much deeper online alternatives.

My first stop during this year’s Gen Con was The Continuum, a recently-released strategy  title that is heavily influenced by some of the more popular tabletop miniatures wargames.  Since it’s a wholly-electronic game, though, The Continuum is able to get much, much deeper than most tabletop skirmishers, something die-hard number crunchers are bound to eat up.

As a bonus, The Continuum is completely web-based.  This means there’s no lengthy download or continuous stream of patches.  Just log in, grab a starter pack and perhaps a few boosters, and begin building an army.  The Continuum is a collectable game, meaning players buy randomized boosters of units to increase their forces, although some of the top players on the leaderboards have managed some respectable achievements without purchasing a single booster.  Still, without a monthly fee, buying a few unit packs here and there can still be cheaper than most MMOs.

The game itself feels much like a tabletop wargame, which is a good thing.  Players choose a point total to determine the relative size of the forces they’re fielding, organize their units into squads and armies, and find a challenger.  There seemed to be quite a goodly amount of opponents to choose from, from all over the world, which is an impressive feat given the game has only recently launched.  An incredibly detailed matchmaking system is in place to insure players know exactly who they’re up against.

As armies battle, the units gain experience, allowing them to level up and upgrade their abilities for future fights.  Common units, while limited in their upgrade selection, still have an impressive amount of customizability.  Rare units, in comparison, have oodles of choices, allowing players to have incredibly individualized armies at their disposal.  In fact, there are tons of numbers and abilities to manage in The Continuum, and each and every one of them are right upfront for display.  Hard-core gamers will rejoice, but the casual gamer might be a little put off. 

There also seemed to be a very strong fan base at this point in the game’s early life, which the developers are embracing.  Although still early, if this level of fan and developer cooperation continues, The Continuum will be a great fit for dedicated strategy gamers, provided they enjoy the collectable-style game. 

 

Check out www.thecontinuum.com for more details.

My lovely wife, Grace, is tearing into an eight-pack of Crayola Twistables Crayons as I write this.  ("No sharpening so twist up the fun!")  Laying atop her crossed legs is a wirebound notebook of 4x4 quidrilled ruled graph paper, and she's about five or six pages in already.

She's drawing garden floorplans.  And I'm jealous.

Not because I want to repeatedly draw out the template to our yard of fruits-and-vegetables-and-wildflowers-yet-to-be myself (complete with RV parking, concrete slab for a back patio, and ambiguous un-fenced border with our neighbor), but because it's been well over a decade since a video game has even remotely required me to draw any maps for myself.  It had to have been King's Quest V (or maybe it was VI), as I seem to remember feverish frustration beading sweat on my forehead while I moseyed a desert wasteland in the West. 

Perhaps that's not the best example, as my "map" -- which was nothing more than a series of loosely-labeled rectangles depicting the number of screens I'd traveled up, down, left, and right -- was a tool borne of contempt. I was happy once I'd graphed out the look-alike screens, but I was mad (madmadmad) that I hadn't thought of it earlier in order to curb my mounting anger.

So then I come across Strong Bad's Cool Game for Attractive People where the different locations Strong Bad teleports to on the map are rather arbitrary in their location.  So arbitrary, in fact, that Strong Bad -- once a new location is discovered -- allows the player to "draw in" the new location anywhere they want on the in-game map.  They're colorful little thumbnails, as if Strong Bad is carrying around his own eight-pack of Crayola Twistables Crayons; and the whimsical nature of the map-making harkens back to the days of King's Quest without necessarily harkening back to the retrospective frustrations hidden in those bygone halcyon days of Sierra adventure gaming.

Perhaps an adventure game will come along that, no, won't force you to draw in 120 screens of compass-bashing north-south-east-west rectangles, but might throw us '80s and early '90s adventure gamers a bone, letting us break out our rustic map-drawing skills once more for old times' sake.  I'd break out some graph paper for that.